Please Forgive Me

"Forgive me for I don't know what I gain
Alone in this garden of pain.
Enchantment has but one truth:
I weep to have what I fear to lose."

Have you ever felt lonely? Lonely amidst plenty? Lonely when the kingfisher cries on a lazy summer afternoon? Lonely when a cloud caresses the moon and just drifts away? Lonely in so many undefinable moments?

You must have... even though nobody else might think so...some may laugh, some may find you weird and just some may understand.... but there's always one who will definitely know... YOU.

I sometimes wonder were we born lonely? Or do we feel lonely only when something is dead inside us... something dead inside of me?

Who was it that was trying to find answers by questioning and questioning? Socrates, perhaps? Yes, Socrates!

I am not talking about being lonely without parents or siblings or lover or spouse or friends... being lonely within, even though you are surrounded by them and the objects that can distract you from thinking like this.

Loneliness is a luxury few people enjoy. I say luxury because in this world of rat-race and show offs and noise who has the time to feel lonely anyway! But do you know it can actually help you take a journey inside of you? Just sit on loneliness and fly, fly away to that distant land from where you can observe all that you want to - about you and anything.

Its the call of the unseen, call of the unheard, call of the higher self. Higher Self? Soul - to put it simply.

OK! Have you ever felt torn apart? Torn apart between this and that? Who and what? How and when? Why and why not? Soul and body? You might ask what loneliness has to do with this! Don't you think this dilemma itself - this frustration of not getting an answer or seeming to get one but unable to put a finger on it - gives rise to loneliness? Otherwise why would you feel so? Everything and everybody is around you! Every imaginable material thing on earth is available for you! THEN? What is missing?

To quote an old song - "The answer is blowing in the wind, my friend, the answer is blowing in the wind."

"Forgive me for I don't know what I gain
Alone in this garden of pain
Enchantment has but one truth:
I weep to have what I fear to lose"

--- Tuomas Holopainen